Cruising Past Cruises
I have what might be a hot take—or, depending on who you ask, a public service announcement: I love to travel, but I have absolutely no desire to go on a cruise.
And I’ve tried. I’ve listened to the glowing reviews, the “you just have to experience it” crowd. But every time I picture it, I land in the same place: a cruise feels like a floating contradiction.
You’re told it’s an escape, but you are, quite literally, stuck. In the ocean. Surrounded by thousands of people. And you paid for the privilege.
Let’s start with the part they don’t put in the brochure. Cruise ships do have morgues onboard, and when capacity is exceeded, bodies may be stored in refrigerated units—something confirmed in reporting from outlets like Business Insider and The New York Times. Not exactly the image of carefree luxury. Quite literally bodies in the freezer. [1]
Then there’s the general vibe: part buffet, part amusement park, part what some critics have described as “assisted living at sea.” Add in the well-documented spread of illnesses like norovirus—tracked by the CDC on cruise vessels—and suddenly “floating viral incubator” starts to feel less like a joke and more like a risk assessment.[2]
And yet, the industry is booming. According to the Cruise Lines International Association (CLIA) and market data from Statista, the global cruise industry is projected to generate roughly $46 billion in revenue by 2026.[3]
So… why?
Part of the answer is control. In an increasingly unpredictable world, cruises offer a version of travel that feels contained—pre-selected ports, structured itineraries, and routes designed with safety in mind. You don’t have to navigate uncertainty. It’s handled for you. We humans and our incessant need to control everything.
Then there’s the packaging. Meals, entertainment, transportation—it’s all bundled. Research from travel industry reports consistently shows that convenience and “low planning stress” are among the top reasons people choose cruises.
Which, for a lot of people, is exactly the point.
But for me, that’s where it falls apart. Just go to an all-inclusive land resort?
Because the experience itself often feels curated to the point of dilution. In an effort to combat effects of overtourism, entire port areas are designed specifically for cruise passengers—private beaches, controlled shopping districts, and pre-packaged excursions that exist alongside, but not quite within, the actual culture of a place. So close, but oh so far.
And the impact is real. Overtourism linked to large cruise ships has led destinations like parts of French Polynesia and Venice to implement restrictions on ship size and access.[4] I mean, we come in and dump the equivalent of the local population into the town and say, “be back by 5!” If you think your local Mexican restaurant is busy on Sunday at lunch, think again….
Add in overcrowded decks, chair-hoarding, tiny staterooms, and the low-level awareness that you are never truly alone (like…ever)—and for anyone who doesn’t love crowds, it starts to feel less like a vacation and more like a very expensive endurance test. A paid-for claustrophobic experiment.
And I haven’t even touched the part where, if something goes wrong, you are quite literally at the mercy of the ocean.
Yes, I’ve seen Titanic. No, that did not help. What is that little life vest actually going to do for me but prolong my death?
All that said, and humor aside, I get the appeal. I really do. There’s something comforting about a trip where everything is handled for you, where the goal isn’t discovery but ease. Where little jack and Grandpa can both enjoy a vacation without having to accommodate for specific needs.
It’s just not the kind of travel that makes me feel alive. (Honestly, it makes me feel seasick to think about it).
I’ll take the airports, the missed turns, the unexpected conversations, the language barriers, the places that aren’t polished in advance.
But never say never.
It would just take a lot of convincing—and, at minimum, a constant supply of Dramamine.
bytaylormcgee
[1] https://www.entrepreneur.com/business-news/celebrity-cruises-let-dead-body-rot-in-cooler-lawsuit/450253; https://www.businessinsider.com/scary-cruise-ship-facts-2018-2; https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/19/travel/cruise-ships-things-you-dont-know.html
[2] Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) – Vessel Sanitation Program (tracks outbreaks on cruise ships).
[3] Cruise Lines International Association (CLIA) – State of the Cruise Industry Report; Statista – Cruise industry revenue projections (~$46B by mid-2020s)
[4] https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-67851201; https://www.islands.com/2122354/cruise-ports-ban-affect-travel-2026/.
